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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
