O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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