College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Panties = found
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
