Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
