sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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