I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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