the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
