I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
