In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
