i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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