508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
