Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
