I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
well you can't waste a boner
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
