He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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