he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
