I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
