the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
