I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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