guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
