"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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