You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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