Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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