your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
