you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
