I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
