I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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