Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
