So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
