guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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