I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
