yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
