Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
