somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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