How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
