we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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