I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
