I wish I could teleport
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
