Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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