you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
