maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
