Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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