Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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