cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
