nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think my vagina is haunted
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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