just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I wanna passion pit in your ass
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
