so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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