I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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