I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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