Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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