i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
