She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
