so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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